A Little Goes a Long Way

My name is Crystal and I am the Administrative Assistant here at SCSS. I am also a cancer widow. I have lost many family members to cancer over the years, but experiencing the cancer journey as a partner and caregiver definitely gave me a new prospective on what that journey means both to the person diagnosed and to their immediate family. The cancer journey is so overwhelming. It can very quickly take over every aspect of your life as an individual and as a family. It’s hard to understand how a little thing like a donation, a ride or a support group can really make a difference, but I wanted to share a story of something that happened to me recently that really shows the impact a small thing can have.

Recently, I ran into one of the nurses who was instrumental in Bill’s care and treatment during his short fight. We had a lovely chat and as she was leaving, she said to me, ”I sometimes wonder if seeing me brings back too many bad memories”.

Yes, that part of my life is full of a lot of bad memories. Memories I wish I could erase. Memories that haunt my dreams. Memories brought back by nurses and waiting rooms and so much more. But here’s the thing: not all of the memories are bad. There was one particular treatment that landed on Bill’s birthday so we spent the majority of his birthday at CancerCare. This same nurse happened to be the nurse he had that day and towards the end of his treatment, she slipped $100 into my hand. She told us that sometimes people leave a little money for them to use to bless the patients and she wanted him to have it for his birthday. To this day, I don’t know if that’s the truth or if it came from her wallet and she didn’t want to take credit. Either way – I don’t know if she truly understood the impact that small blessing had not just on him but also on our whole family.

Because here’s what I remembered when I saw her. I remembered Bill’s last trip to the hobby store. I remembered his laughter and excitement as he browsed through the options for things he could add on to his RC project. I remembered a brief moment where life felt normal, where the world was full of hope and we were focused on something other than cancer.

He ended up selecting a light kit to add working lights to his RC. A few days later, one of his brothers came down to visit. But it wasn’t like the other visits where they would sit and look at him, asking questions about how he felt, what he ate, etc. Instead, the two of them sat in the living room, RC parts spread out on the coffee table in front of them, and his brother helped him install the light kit. For one evening, they weren’t patient and visitor. They were just brothers.

And I remember him lying in bed holding his 3 month old grandson and giggling at the way the baby’s eyes lit up when the lights went off and on after the kit was installed.

Those are three amazing memories – three moments when cancer was not the focus of our lives. Three moments made possible because of a kind gesture that took a little pressure off our plates and gave him the freedom to enjoy life a little more.  Bill passed away just a month later and I will forever be grateful to that nurse for giving us those moments.

It’s easy to look at things like support groups or rides to appointments and wonder – is it enough? Are we really making that much of an impact? But here’s the thing: something as simple as a ride or assistance with the financial burden of transportation to treatments might seem minor to us – but to the patient and their family: it’s one less thing they have too stress about. It’s one less financial burden taking over their every day lives. It’s freeing up the time they would have spent arranging for rides themselves. And when you find a way to remove a little stress and free up a little time, you open the door to opportunities for families to spend a little more time together, to build a few more happy memories, and to take back some of the overwhelming impact that the cancer journey can have on their lives. That’s why we do what we do and that’s why we ask for your help to provide those supports. Because the cancer journey shouldn’t just be about cancer. It should also be about life, family, love and hope.